Getting Ready

I come to consciousness of-sorts and check the time – it’s ten to six - ten minutes before my alarm is set to go off. I lie in that hazy world, in which dreams still linger around, and reality seems a confusion. I have a mild headache, a state to which I have awoken to for the last month. I assume it is because I have not been drinking enough water. I automatically begin composing a list of “twenty things I should do to improve my life”. (1) Drink eight to ten glasses of water a day, (2) Be healthy by exercising and eating good for you foods, (3) Try to act less snobby and condescending. I am stumped and can’t seem to come up with anything else to add to my list. My hand wanders down gripping my erect cock as I intend to wrestle with my manhood, but instead sleep washes over me.

Eight minutes later my alarm is going off, and I pull my hands out of my boxers and press the snooze button. I keep meaning to get up after the next time the alarm goes off, so I can shower, iron the shirt I wanted to wear today, have breakfast, and transfer the Mary J Blige album which I downloaded last night onto my I-pod. I end up waking up with twenty minutes and counting before I must be out the door.

I jump in the shower and lather my hair with Fructise Anti-Dandruff Shampoo, brush my teeth with Glister Toothpaste, wash my body with Dove soap, and clean my face with Nivea Men’s Oil Control Face Wash. I race to my room and rub Life Brand Nut and Honey Body Lotion liberally over myself, apply Adidas Active Anti-Perspirant under my arm-pits, and spray Escape by Calvin Klien over myself.

I slip on my boxers – and quickly select the Mary J Blige album to copy onto my I-pod. I sit on my bed while the album is copying, and contemplate what I want to wear. I want to look cute today, and stare at my closet for ideas. The outfit I had planned before I went to bed requires ironing which is at this point out of the question. I consider wearing this white Polo shirt with pink, black, and blue vertical stripes and black Docker khakis, an outfit which always garners complements. The thing is I wore the Polo shirt last week, and wearing it so soon would break my, no-repeats-within-a-month rule. I feel I have nothing else exciting to wear, and with five minutes left before I must be out the door, I break my rule and don the outfit in question.

I run back to the washroom, style my hair into place with Frucitse Styling Gel, and moisturize my face with Nivea Men’s Oil Control Face Lotion. I have two minutes left at this point and begin frantically looking for my black scarf. After having located the scarf, I put on my black wool Petticoat, grab my black knapsack, I-pod, and cell phone and run downstairs. I seek out my faux-alligator skin loafers and slip them on. I take one last look in the mirror, and smile pleased with the effect I have created for the day. I turn side-ways, making sure the effect holds true from the side profile.

Ready and dressed for success I head out for the start of my work-day.